So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
