you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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