do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
