Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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