Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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