my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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