Jerry, you need to find god
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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