did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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