Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She made me pour olive oil on her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
