but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
