no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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