Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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