I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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