i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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