this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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