no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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