no, he came in my armpit
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
