Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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