he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize