I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
