My liver just broke up with me...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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