Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
