While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
