Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
