okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
