Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
