Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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