Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
