meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
