Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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