you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You have to summon your inner elephant
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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