I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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