Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
