You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
