I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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