First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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