He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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