Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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