I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
how drunk are you?
Several
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
