can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
