tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We don't watch enough power rangers
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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