I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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