well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
