I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
