@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
