over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
