I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
