I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
