I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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