Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
