There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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