I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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