Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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