I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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