Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
