Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
