How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
