I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
