Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
