There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
